Pew Research Center - "Teens, Technology and Romantic Relationships"

Anderson, M., Lenhart, A., and Smith, A. (2015). Teens, technology and romantic relationships. Pew Research Center, October 2015. Retrieved from
                  http://www.pewinternet.org/2015/10/01/teens-technology-and-romantic-relationships/

Technology, especially social media, is an important part of the social life of today's teens. Not only do they socially interact with one another via social media, text messages, etc... it has become a way of dating / romantic relationships as well. 

According to this study of 13 to 17 year old teens, 35% of American teens have ever dated, hooked up with others or have a romantic relationship.  As much time as youth spend on social media, I would have assumed this to be much higher.  It stated, "Though 57% of teens have begun friendships in a digital space, teens are far less likely to have embarked on a romantic relationship that started online."  It nice to know that face to face meeting is still how most youth meet a boyfriend/girlfriend. 

Flirting, on the other hand, is a totally different matter.  Technology is a major way that teens can flirt or expressing interest in someone. 

• 55% of all teens have flirted or let someone know they are interested through technology.  This do not surprise me at all.  It is much less intimidating to type out your feelings than to express them face to face, especially if you do not know if the other person feels the same way. 
• 50% of teens have let someone know they "liked" them via Facebook or other social media sites.
• 47% have expressed interest in others by liking or commenting on social media.
• 46% use social media to share something funny with a romantic interest.
• 31% have sent flirtation messages.  (I figured this would be much higher!)
• 11% have made them a music playlist - this generations version of the mixed tape.
• 10% have sent flirty or sexy pictures of themselves. 
• 7%  have made a video for them.

It is important to note that most of these behaviors or actions occur with teens who have dated before.  Teens with no or little dating experience are less likely to flirt online.

In real life situations, teens face uncomfortable situations with flirting or people that they are not attracted to romantically.  The same is true online as well.  25% of all teens have deleted, unfriended, or blocked people who made them uncomfortable with their online flirting.  Girls are more likely to be the targets of unwanted or uncomfortable flirting. 

Social media can also fuel jealousy in a teen relationship and affect the stability of the relationship.
Here are the statistics of social media users with dating experience (30% of teens surveyed for this report):

• 59% feel like they are more connected to their partner through social media
• 47% feel that social media gives them a place to show how much they care about their girlfriend/boyfriend
• 44% feel emotional closer to their significant other with social media
• 27% say that social media makes them feel jealous or unsure about their relationship

There are some MAJOR drawbacks to having a relationship on social media for the world to see.  It allows others to comment on their relationship and often try to intervene.  They can show support for others' relationships, but often too many people can see what is happening in their relationship.

Teen daters use social media to connect with each other daily.  85% expect to hear from their significant others at least once a day.  They also connect with each other through texting, phone calls, and hanging out with each other.

•   92% teens text message their partner at least occasionally
• 87% spend time on the phone with each other
• 86% spend time together in person away from school
• 70% visit via social media
• 69% use instant or online messaging
• 55% video chat
• 49% use messaging apps
• 37% use email
• 31% talk while playing online video games

With teens using technology to stay in contact with one another, what about breaking up?  I have seen numerous parodies and Facebook posts on this topic.  Thankfully the majority of the teen daters in this study agree that breaking up in person is the most socially acceptable way.   This chart from the Pew Research Center shows the results of the questions they asks on technology and breaking up with a partner.

Dating is not always the most positive experience.  Technology can sometime be used to control or harm the other party.  Here is the articles break down of this behavior:

During a relationship teens are most likely to experience:

• 31% of teens with dating experience report that a current or former partner has checked up on them multiple times per day on the internet or cellphone, asking where they were, who they were with or what they were doing.
  • 26% of teen daters report that their partner checked up on them during their relationship.
  • 5% of teen daters report that a former partner checked up on them multiple times per day after their relationship ended.
• 21% of teen daters report that a current or former boyfriend, girlfriend or partner has read their text messages without permission.
  • 18% of teen daters report such an experience during the course of their relationship.
  • 3% report that a partner read their texts without permission after their relationship had ended.
• 15% of teen daters (or 5% of all teens) say a current or former partner used the internet or text messaging to pressure them to engage in sexual activity they did not want to have.
  • 10% of teen daters report that this happened during a relationship.
  • 5% report that a former partner did this to them after a relationship ended.

Potentially controlling and harmful behaviors teens experience both during and after a relationship with similar frequency³:

• 16% of teen daters have been required by a current or former partner to remove former girlfriends or boyfriends from their friends list on Facebook, Twitter or other social media.
  • 10% of teens experience this during their relationship; 7% experience it after a breakup.
• 13% of teens with dating experience report that their current or former partner demanded that they share their passwords to email and internet accounts with them.
  • And teens are about equally as likely to experience this during a relationship (7%) as after a relationship ends (5%).
• 11% of teens with relationship experience report that a current or former partner has contacted them on the internet or on their cellphone to threaten to hurt them.
  • 8% of teens with dating experience have been threatened digitally by an ex.
  • 4% experienced this during a relationship.
• 8% of teen daters report that a current or ex-partner used information posted on the internet against them, to harass or embarrass them.
  • 4% had this happen during a relationship, and another 4% have experienced this after the relationship ended.

After a relationship ends, teens are more likely to experience:

• 22% of teens with relationship experience have had a partner use the internet or a cellphone to call them names, put them down or say really mean things to them.
  • 14% of teen daters report that this happened after a relationship ended.
  • 8% of teens report that a boyfriend or girlfriend had done this to them during a relationship.
• 15% of teen daters report that a current or former partner spread rumors about them using digital platforms like mobile phones or the internet.
• 13% of youth with dating experience report that this happened after a breakup;
• 2% of teen daters experienced this during a relationship.

It is interesting to see how social media and technology has evolved the way teens meet and respond to others.  When I was younger, I would spend hours on the phone with my significant other.  We would send each other codes via our pagers.  Of course, with the change of technology the youth have changed in their interactions with others.  They strive for acceptance and socialization.  However, it does seem to be much easier for one party to control another.  As a teenager, I was in a relationship with someone who wanted to control who I was friends with, who I spent time with, etc... He would have definitely had an easier time "keeping tabs" on me with technology and social media.   I am glad to read that overall face to face is still how most prefer to spend their time. 

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